IT IS NOT A FRIKKIN' SPIDER BITE!!!

Frequent Flyer Guy: I got bit by a spider on my neck. Hurts like hell.

Night Witch: It is not a spider bite. It is a staph infection. It looks like it is a MRSA infection.

Frequent Flyer Guy: No, I am sure it is a spider bite. I get these all the time. They give me that white pill. I think I have a nest of spiders somewhere in my house. Even my girlfriend and kids get them. Maybe it is a brown recluse.

Night Witch: It is not a spider bite. And there are no brown recluse spiders in this state. You get these all the time because it is MRSA. It is highly contagious, that is why your whole family gets these. The "little white pill" - is that Bactrim, a sulfa medicine?

Frequent Flyer Guy: Well it may not be a brown recluse. But my friends mother's brothers neighbors ex-wife got bit by a brown recluse in this city and she nearly lost her arm. Yes, it was a sulfa pill.

Night Witch: I doubt it was a brown recluse since it is confirmed that we don't have them in this state but regardless, you will need antibiotics again. I also need to lance it and get all the pus out. And quit touching it. Your face will be next if you aren't careful.

Frequent Flyer Guy: Is it going to hurt to lance it?

Night Witch: Nope, won't hurt me a bit :>)

Frequent Flyer Guy: I am going to need a Vicodin prescription too.

Night Witch: Yeah, I'll give you 4 tablets, then you should be fine. If you laid off the meth you might get fewer of these, ya know.